Help! Have a bit of a dilemma. Need your advice.

At some point the needs of the many outweigh the needs of a few . . . or in this case the one. My father in law is a dear, sweet wonderful soul, but boy is he stubborn. He is 93 years old, very intelligent and for the most part reasonable, except where the subject of driving is concerned. His eyesight is not good. His hearing is not good. He can’t lift his arms due to rotator cuff issues but he will not stop driving. He lives in Florida. Won’t come here except in the summer . . . and wears a jacket or sweater even when it is 85 in the shade. We try every time we see him to reason with him and make him understand that he should not drive. He says that there is only one vote that counts on that decision and it’s his. He lives in a neighborhood where there are children playing in the yards. Those kids could run into the street! I worry that he wouldn’t see them, and if he did see them couldn’t stop or cut the wheel to react. When my Dad was at this point I was able to talk to his doctor and ask him to evaluate my Dad’s safety behind the wheel. The doctor told him he couldn’t drive anymore. He complained that the Doctor didn’t know what he was talking about till the day he died but at least he was off the road. How do you deal with this with someone who lives far away? I wish the state of Florida would have made him take a driving test to renew his license but they didn’t. I guess with all the old people down there the DMV would be packed with senior citizens and none of the people giving the road tests would want to get in a car with them. None of us will drive with Dad. There are things falling off his car. This probably means that he has bumped or scrapped curbs, poles, and I bet other cars. Should we somehow drop a dime on him (boy is that an old expression). Would the police or the DMV pay any attention if someone called and said “hey, there’s a really old guy driving who should not be on the road”? I bet they get about a thousand calls like that a day in Miami. I bet they wouldn’t pay any attention at all. So what should we do? I’d appreciate any suggestions that anyone has. Now . . . if my kids start asking this in say . . . 20 or 30 years. Tell them it’s none of their damn business.

One response to “Help! Have a bit of a dilemma. Need your advice.

  1. I think the only way to have him stop driving is to have his Dr. declare him incompetent to drive then the DMV can revoke his license. I think there is a form that can be filled out by his Dr. at least there is in PA. I think they may be able to impound the car at that point.

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